Is it just me that finds that the world is sucking? I mean generally. Im just totally drained again.. And a part of me is like: Great Im getting my period again or something but seriously. Another part is like getting worried if I get cancer or something because I sit so much by the computer. And another part just finds me horribley unattractive while another can like see one kissing everyone. And then I mean EVERYONE. It's driving me up the wall. Being a teenager sucks.
 
 And today it was the OC which didnt make me feel any better either. Or Charmed... Or Buffy... God gracious, I really want a boyfriend... Well well... Hormones I guess.
 
 And then the more I write the more pissed I get for some reason. Wicca just aint working for me right now and I love that religion so much and just the thought that I might out grow it is horrible. I love just everything about it but I cant get it to work.
 
 I getting afraid as well. I hate being at the internet but I cant stop. I honestly have no such thing as a life. Im 100% serious! Im not having not even a shadow of a life. Im breathing but you know what I mean. Im not LIVING life anymore. Im just riding the wave seeing the world pass me by.
 
 Tomorrow Im going to my dad's I dont know what to think or expect. I mean I havent met him since two weeks ago and a few days ago he got to know that his mother wont live to next year or something like that... Im a total mess. And Im frozen emotionally as well. I havent cried in ages which makes me worried. I havent cried on any furial or anything... Im a totally wreck. Seriously. I hate it.